Silent Victories of 2018

Updated: Mar 31, 2019

One thing health coaching has forced me to respect and recognize over and over again is our relationship with success and self sabotage. Over the last four years, I’ve invested time and energy in multiple online and in person programs, but there has been no greater panic or source of anxiety is calling, Skyping, or meeting my financial advisor and bodybuilding coaches. In truth, they have given me no reason to be afraid, in fact I spend a significant amount of time researching who I work with and why. Still yet, I realize, in truth, checking in with some, forces you TO CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF; there lies the work. And more so, our traditional society had convinced me that adult accountability was supposed to be with a “spouse,” but how can one person serve as THE COMMUNITY. How as adults are suppose to “adult” without a single course on money management, mental wellness and LOVE?

As I proceed in 2019, I wanted to share the “silent/adulting” victories that we in the 21st century WISH we got badges or silent Sonic the Hedge Hog “coin sounds” for each time we showed up for ourselves and adult-ed.

Celebration # 1: Launching my online webinar

TMP: Transformational Meal Prep– when I got divorced almost five years ago, I felt like I hit rock bottom. I felt like I failed: at love (divorce), everything went from 50% off to 100% (debt), Mana was two (body shame and insecure), and choose to stay on Hawaii island to co-parent (sad and alone). I couldn’t control a lot, so I wanted to focus on what I could control, which was, SIMPLY, taking care of myself. Through multiple training programs, bodybuilding competitions, I painfully learned the world of HEALTH and FITNESS ARE AS CONNECTED AND DISCONNECTED as you want them to be. And till this day, I feel like I have a chip on my shoulder because FOOD IS THE ONE THING WE HAVE TO DO EVERYDAY, IT SHOULD BE CONFUSING. TMP is my contribution to the world, my blend of educator + human, birthing and translating common sense nutrition, and sharing how that could be put into practice, without extreme diets, practical tracking and honesty.

Celebration # 2 Helping over 150 people

Ulu Laukahi: serving as an independent consultant at a Native Hawaiian Clinic, serving over 100 clients who are either diagnosed, at risk or have a family history of obesity, hypertension, diabetes. In truth, my health practice often beings with a painful reality, and is often healed by a generous amount of compassion and wisdom either by someone or something. Each time I hear a client’s thoughts, simultaneously I hear the pain and hope in their thought. Much of my work is reminding people to keep going, but true to the educator I am, it is also to remind them of their progress, show them their thinking, thought process and tracking. Sometimes, in truth, I think our greatest enemy it NOT TIME, it is our relationship with it. Most things, body/health, financial wellness and mental wellness take TIME and if you can invest your time and energy with people who can evolve your relationship with time, broke or not, you can rich.

Celebration # 3 Exponential Growth

2017 I did 5 bodybuilding shows, 2 national and 3 local. I spent time, money and effort investing in understanding how to compete, comparing and contrasting multiple approaches to diet and nutrition and fitness, only to really understand that I never really saw myself as a winner. In truth, I didn’t think of myself as a loser. The greater truth is I’ve never seen myself in those terms at all. However, when we fail, and all we have are reoccurring self depreciating thoughts, we get good at whatever we choose to endure. Like food, I don’t have a large threshold for discomfort and emotional pain.

2018 was about recovery, understanding what health and fitness looked like to me, without competing and more importantly, ANSWERING THE QUESTION- what if I was my own carrot? I’ve accomplished so much out of fear. I’ve invested and “bought into so much” because I paid for it. What if I was enough? What if being excellent for the sake of being excellent was enough?

Approaching 2019, I walk with a balance I’ve been searching for even before divorce. In truth, I walk with a balance of humility, clarity and vision I thought marriage, career and having a child would give me. BUT, I would have never understood the urgency of understanding had not I commit to the belief that with humility, heart and hustle:

 I have the capability and capacity to bookmark my fears and proceed with  love. I have the ability to figure the fuck out of this life:

to be comfortable in my own skinnote my mental errors and feel confident in evolving themlet go of control and panicproceed with a messy sense of grace and excitement

What are my 2019 non negotiables:

I am committing to PRIORITIZING getting out of credit card debt.I am committed to finding and engaging with more places, spaces and people who combine my love and vision for blending mental wellness, human interaction, physical fitness and holistic nutrition.

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© 2019 by Kū-A-Kanaka

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