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10 Months Down & 10 Years Back

Uncategorized Dec 09, 2020

I almost titled this, "October Wins" but it felt almost "wrong' to title it win...

but in truth

I do reflect each month

and I won't let the fear of perception or misperception water down my voice,

so here we go- I'm going to let you in.


I've been quiet most of this year. I'm sure like all of you, you had plans for 2020.

  • Dec-March: move to Los Angeles (with hopes of living back and forth)

  • April: move back to Hawaii (perspective came, COVID came...)

  • May-July: quarantine, start my own fitness app

  • August -October: homeschool my son, teach full time, maintain my own fitness app

  • Nov- December... ?

Each year I have a theme- this year it was "Within My Means..."

  • Love...

  • Spend...

  • Train...

  • Compete...

  • Give...

  • Hope...

Within my means...


Early on this year, I started going to therapy. It didn't last long as I don't think she was a good fit. But there was a seed she planted that I haven't been able to shake...

In our last session she rephrased me babbling into something that sounded like this...


As she rephrased what I said, I didn't see my life like this, in fact some of the dates may be wrong. But she asked me to entertain the idea that perhaps I haven't processed too many things in the last few years.


She asked me to consider that maybe this year, for once, in ten years, this year-

Allow myself to be tired.

Allow myself to feel.

Allow myself to mourn... grieve.


2010 Move + newly married + new job/town + Death- dad

2011 Earn my Master's Degree, get pregnant

2012 Mana was born

2013 New parent + Couples therapy

2014 Divorce + move 2 times

2015 Begin bodybuilding + Debt + work 4 jobs + move some more...

2016 Nutrition School+ Death (grandfather) + work 4 jobs + start health coaching

2017 Nationals Bodybuilding + work 4 jobs

2018 Nutrition School + Death (cousin) + work 3 jobs + write meal prep course

2019 Nationals Bodybuilding+ Death (grandmother) + work 2 jobs + move some more...

2020 ...


You see sometimes we don't know how far we've come, until we really think about how far we have come. As I write this, I simultaneously pray for God to help me envision, plan and look forward to 2021.


For those of you who truly know me, you know I operate with a sense of urgency and intentionality that is noteworthy. One unsolicited piece of advice I offer you is to structure and systematically outline how and when you reflect. The only way I am able to craft, structure and design a 2021 plan is to remember the scope of my work, which includes: how far I've come, how far I haven't, the grace and goodness of God and everything in between.


Still not convinced?

Feel free to shoot me an email with any questions or concerns, I'll happily answer your questions and/or give you an behind the scenes virtual tour.